News
YouTuber Boxing Matches Part of a Secret Societies Initiation Ritual!
As more and more YouTubers are trying their hand at boxing, many are left wondering what the deal is. Recent documents have revealed that this is all part of a secret societies’ initiation ritual.
The Real Cause of Constipation Discovered!
However, our resident health expert Dr. Bilious Upchuck has finally discovered the real cause of constipation: beings from another realm who find it amusing to plug us up and make us constipated.
Ancient Prophecy About A TikToker Starting The Apocalypse Is True!
Doomsday is upon us. At least, that’s what some religious scholars are saying. They believe in an ancient prophecy that says a TikToker will warn the world of the impending apocalypse and that this will be the catalyst for it to begin.
The Amish Have Secretly Been The Most Technologically Advanced Civilization On Earth For Centuries!
For centuries, the Amish have managed to keep their technology a secret from the outside world. But what our reporter found is even more shocking – they are the most technologically advanced civilization on Earth.
BREAKING NEWS: Galactic Emperor Zardasschin Warns He Will Declare War On Earth If Humans Don’t Stop Pointing Laser Pointers At Space!
Galactic Emperor Zardasschin, the leader of the Milky Way’s largest empire, has issued a warning to humans on Earth: stop pointing laser pointers at space, or he will declare war.
BREAKING NEWS: World's Oldest Man Claims That Inhaling The Fumes Of The Nursing Home Laundry Is The Key To Longevity!
Cracksman is now the oldest man alive, and he attributes his longevity to inhaling the fumes from the nursing home laundry.
BREAKING NEWS: The Rainforest Is In Trouble, And Weird Al Is To Blame!
Since then, more and more camels have been learning to play the accordion, and the once-quiet rainforest is now filled with the sound of honking honky-tonks and wailing waltzes.
BREAKING NEWS: Popular Fast Food Restaurant Burger Fling Has Been Caught Using Sasquatch Meat In Their Burgers!
Sasquatch is in the news for a less than favorable reason. Burger Fling, a popular fast food restaurant, has been caught using Sasquatch meat in their burgers.
BREAKING NEWS: The Military Is Building An Army Of Fembots With Machine Gun Boobs Just Like The Ones From Austin Powers!
Now, it seems that the military is taking a page out of Dr. Evil’s playbook, as they’re currently in the process of building their own army of fembots.
BREAKING NEWS: Goose Wayne Is the Number One Psychic On YouTube And Earth!
Goose Wayne, the man with the spirit of Batman
BREAKING NEWS: Flat Earthers and Round Earthers Are Baffled By The Revelation That Earth Is A Triangular Prism!
recent discoveries have revealed that the Earth is actually a triangular prism. This revelation has baffled both flat-earthers and round-earthers alike.
BREAKING NEWS: Elixir Of Life Found In Underground Seattle!
Mass reportings are coming in of individuals going into Seattle’s underground tunnel system and coming out cleaner, healthier, and younger than before. Local tunnel resident Bill told us that he had no idea that the stream he has been using as his restroom all these years is actually the elixir of life.